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Hi i'm Spongey! I am a beginner on the keyboard. I started in September, weekly, playing things with sheet music that had the notes on them. My keyboard also has the notes written on them (no worries, they can be rubbed off with a bit of soap and water)
I have tried the chords, but they're really hard when you try to play with two hands. Imagine how stupid i look when i start getting confused and play the chords instead of the tune and it turns into a big mess
No one is teaching me and i don't think we've got enough money for a teacher... so how do i teach myself to play with two hands?
Help greatly appreciated

Well first off, you're going to need PATIENCE. You've been playing for nine months, which isn't long in piano years, and with no guidance. Even if you don't have a teacher, go down to the library and ask about piano/keyboard tutor BOOKS (alien concept in a library, I know, what with CDs, DVDs, DVTs and God knows what else). Even if they don't have one in, they can get one transferred across for you (costs about 60p here, don't know if it's the same where you are). What sort of thing do you want to be able to play? Have you got a proper piano or a plastic one?
If you just want to learn chords, then ask them to get you a keyboard picture chord book, with photo's of somebody's hand forming the chord shape on a keyboard so you can see exactly what you're aiming for. If you want to learn to play melody as well, then ask for a piano or keyboard adult tutor - preferably not a classical method. The Complete Piano Player by Kenneth Baker is good, but I'm out of touch with what's about...you could always go into a music shop and have a poke around, or look at the tutors on www.musicroom.com , and see if there's one which teaches what you want to be able to play.
Local adult education places often offer piano classes which is quite a cheap way to learn, or you could approach a teacher and ask if they'd be prepared to give you the odd lesson when you need help with a sticky bit in the tutor book. And it's a bit cheeky, but you could always ask for help in the local music shop; I was often bored out of my brain when I worked in one, and giving people pointers on playing relieved the boredom a bit on a Saturday afternoon when everyone else was watching the football...
If you go to church, the organist/choirmaster could help you out, or if you're at school/college, see if there's anyone in the music department (if Blair hasn't shut them all) who might be of use.
Good luck!

No,no. I have had guidence for the keyboard in school but mostly all we did was chords and tunes sepretaley, never with two hands. The letters are written on the keyboards there, too. I rubbed mine off today. I want to learn the keys off by heart. And of course it's a real piano, okay well its a keyboard. An old keyboard. But it has the basic keys, so no worries. I haven't got a plastic one, only one from when i was a little kid
Thanks for all your advice! I'm now learning BASICS from this really good piano lesson site. It's great! I'll keep you posted

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How to play with two hands? Well just play with two hands! Just kidding. Anyway I guess there is no short-cut and all you need is practice, practice and practice. If difficult at the beginning, do it slow. With more practice I reckon you would be doing good.

Others may have better opinion or advice on how to play with two hands.

Good luck.