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...has to be Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End) by The Darkness from a few years ago.

I hate Mariah Carey slithering all around a note instead of just hitting it.

Yes, she's saft, isn't she? All I Want For Christmas Is.......well, you know what I always shout out??

I've just come back from my local branch of the Sainsbury establishment and amongst the chav trash, there was the recordings of The Holly and The Ivy and Away In A Manger by the King's College Cambridge choir from the same Classic FM compilation that I have on the shelf. Quite surprised to hear something tasteful in all of the usual rubbish.

Back on topic...George Cole and Dennis Waterman 'What are we gonna get 'er indoors' is another godawful one that is probably too godawful to be rammed down our throats by the likes of Heart FM, Smooth FM, Co-Op Radio etc.

My boss told me he likes something called Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Profuse apologies to Terry McCann and Arthur Daley.

What ARE you on about??

Allow me to explain. Mister Hankey....the song, if one can refer to it as that, is from American adult animated cartoon series South Park, and due to the, shall we say, un-Christmassy nature of the video (which includes a singing and dancing turd) I shall decline from posting a link to it here. As for Messrs McCann and Daley, these were the two main characters in the 1980s Thames drama Minder, played by George Cole and Dennis Waterman. 'Arfer' always referred to his spouse as 'er indoors' and the song was money-spinner on the back of that. 'we've only just done with one pound fifty for the Guy Sir, used to be a Penny in my day',' ah, but Queen Victoria is dead now, ain't she'. You know the score, dodgy Essex businessman and ex-con personal bodyguard silly banter sort of affair. And again, not that Christmassy.

I know about Minder; I did watch South Pork once and it was half an hour of my life I can never get back.