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Helen's latest offering.....it's that song again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KtqrLxe ... e=youtu.be

Ahh yes, now I can accurately define the word 'farage'. A particularly bad bout of neurosis that seems to last forever - as in 'my farages are seemingly more uncontrollable the older I get'....

I think of 'farage' as a verb - faraging about in an antiques shop, frinstance.

That's foraging.....

Whizzed through the M40/A404 junction at 8.13 this morning. Then on the way back as I whizzed through I looked at the time again and it said 8.13pm. I thought that would be a good posting!!!

Now to tuck into my pasty wot I purchased from Harrods foodhall!

For what you paid for a pasty in Horrid's you could have stayed overnight in a Travelodge... Did you have a good time?

Two pasties and two small pork pies, plus one choccy bar (Harrods own brand). Total £14.95. But that wasn't the low point, both our Oyster cards said £16.70 when we started, and we went from Hillingdon (where we parked the car) in Z6 to Gloucester Road in Z1, from Warren St. to Victoria, Temple to Gloucester Rd, and then back to Hillingdon and finished up on balances of £3.20.

My wife, being the staunch Monarchist she is was only too pleased to see Princess Catherine come past on the Embankment, accompanied by armed police and road-clearers on bikes. For me, the leftie republican, it was using the lavatories (sorry, Gentleman's Cloakrooms) in both Harrods and Fortnums. Now had the manager known a working class Brummie on benefits had infiltrated their respective rich man's empires....

Pat Gorman's pork pies are only 99p in Aldi, and they're not only tastier, they're bigger! Did like the roof gardens in John Lewis though, and the Hard Rock cafe.

Looking increasingly likely there'll be no job interview tomorrow after all.

Why's that? Have they cancelled?

Illness.

I did go to the interview and did not panic or feel anxious once. Probably because I really want this job and it's for an employer whom I know will care. Will know early next week. And yet there was me filled with panic and anxiety! Which is why the job would be good for me because I'll have no time to panic or be anxious about anything!!

Plus I picked up a Wittner metronome in gwo for £5 from the interview venue!

Five quid? Jammy s*d! So glad you went for the interview; that alone helps build confidence. Is it a nice shop? Nicer than the one you work in at the moment? And is it a long way to travel to?

It's in perfect condition, clicks from 40-208 bpm, rings on the main beat for 2 3 4 and 6 time (plus no main beat ring if desired) and the Italian terminology is displayed on the front from fast to slow (presto, allegro, moderato, andante, adagio, larghetto, largo (useful, I thought large and adagio were more or less the same - slow like lento)) with the winder and main beat ring switch as a pull out knob on the right:-

Stamps feet on floor, I want one, I want one too

(stamps feet on floor at 90cbpm) also found a glass Kitchen Aid bowl in the same shop (we have a KA mixer), and also Eleanor Franklin Pike's Easiest Tune Book of Hymns Book 1 from Oxfam Books and Music Harborne (not my shop) for £1.99. Plus a few Naxos titles going cheap (not English birdsong).

Rough average price of 30 quid on eBay. Jammy... forget managership, go in for wheeler dealing!

Could open my own classical music store in the Bullring market soon (now I need a pussy-nome to go with it!)

The nome I have is similar to this one (was £5.99 at the time of pasting)

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wittner-metro ... 4181bdd00c

So you still got a bargain; closed at £9.05 plus postage.

Well, it surely pays to go shopping in charity shops and car boots. I was at Brackley Antiques Cellar earlier on and was quite underwhelmed. Not what I imagined it to be at all.

I had a strange dream last night. I did an Associated Board piano graded exam WITHOUT panicking. In fact, I quite enjoyed it!

dave brum wrote: I was at Brackley Antiques Cellar earlier on and was quite underwhelmed. Not what I imagined it to be at all.

A lot of repro has crept in, to my dismay. And watching Antiques Hunt and seeing them offer a 50% discount where in real life they hardly budge an inch infuriates me. Still like going Oop North to Brackley for a rummage now & then though.

dave brum wrote:I had a strange dream last night. I did an Associated Board piano graded exam WITHOUT panicking. In fact, I quite enjoyed it!

It's a NOMEN!!!

The only time you'll be guaranteed a discount from some of the Delboys is if there just so happens to be a television camera involved, a celebrity such as Philip Serrell, or both. Almost half the place is repro, the sort of thing you'd see in John Lewis, Marks, or an independent giftshop on the High Street (which there were a couple of anyway in the market square in Brackley).

Gill the Piano wrote: It's a NOMEN!!!

Read my lips:

I shall NEVER take another piano exam in my lifetime.

...as a footnote to that, I could probably manage grade 1, without the SR test. I'll still take a butchers at the new ABRSM syllabus when it comes out in early July, but out of sheer curiosity alone.

Looking forwards to my piano lesson tomorrow afternoon, it's been three weeks and since then I've suffered a bad crash. But thankfully my piano teacher understands this, we've been in Email contact since then - and I have something to play for her. I can now play 17 of the 32 pieces in CTM 1 plus a few bonus pieces - and two hymn tunes.

The @$*!ING Osmonds at class today. But not before I could entertain the masses with a soupcon of Offenbach. 'Oh, a bit of the Can-Can' says the instructor. 'No' says I 'it's the finale from the overture to Orpheus in the Underworld by Jacques Offenbach'. I mean, how uncultured some people are.....

Lots of people play the exam pieces without doing the exam; it helps them to know where they are so they can say 'I'm about grade wotever' rather than 'I can play the first five bars of Furry Knees' if people ask.

Gill the Piano wrote:Lots of people play the exam pieces without doing the exam; it helps them to know where they are so they can say 'I'm about grade wotever' rather than 'I can play the first five bars of Furry Knees' if people ask.

It's most certainly the fear that's stopping me from doing even grade 1. Mabel said just now she'd give me 19/21 on a piece of g1 SRing we did just now. I could do grade 1 if I wasn't so scared and so unconfident, Gill (contradicting myself). If only I had friends in Brum who play piano or are learning to play....

You've already got G1, haven't you? No point redoing it; better to go forwards than back!
Is there any way you could start an adult beginners' piano support group? A notice in the library or something?

Gill the Piano wrote:You've already got G1, haven't you? No point redoing it; better to go forwards than back!

I haven't actually done G1. Done G2 and b*llsed up G3, both exam certificates I shred. But it would actually be good to do G1 without panicking about it or getting in a two and eight so much I'm off my food for days. This would be a major conquest for me.

Wednesday, not a good start to my new SR thing 'Sightreading Folk 1' by Laura Shur. The idea is to play the thing ONCE and then move on to the next exercise, whether you succeed or fail at it. I made a hash of the pitch first time around - and with my wife nagging me to play it until I get it right and not to tell myself I cannot play it, I played it a further three times incorrectly. I don't think this will be the one. Yet I could play her four phrases of a new tune from CTM 1. I'm so un-Shur.

Wife wants me to do Grade 1. I surmise my teacher would put me in for Grade 4 if I said I'd changed my mind about exams. I said I could do grade 1 if they didn't have the SR test as I don't think I'm ready for it (notice I didn't say 'I'd never be able to do it' or 'I can't do it')

dave brum wrote: with my wife nagging me to play it until I get it right

Get her to show you how to do it. Usually shuts 'em up...

Just do things as you feel ready. And don't forget that SR is a small part of the exam and if you excel at the rest, you can still get a distinction.

I will have to check out Trinity Guildhall exams, not really been down that avenue. But must mow the lawn first.

I'd be happy for Mabs to just leave the SR altogether as for me, it just spoils it all. I don't know if you have Pianist magazine but did you see the article therein about doing music exams? It says that if there is a particular aspect of the exam you're not happy with, work on it doubly hard. If Mabs tells me I'm her best sight reader and I'm not happy with my own performance then I really do not have a clue. I know how difficult it is for my wife to read the easiest of books first time around, so not to be able to sight read a specimen g1 piece at just one go is really no big deal...unless you want to do such graded exam.

I WILL take my Grade 1. With this person, when she's done her 'bird';

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -home.html

(ps apologies for posting a Daily Mail link on this page, advised not to scroll down to 'comments' as those are in poorer taste than those on the website of the Guardian)

dave brum wrote:I will have to check out Trinity Guildhall exams, not really been down that avenue. But must mow the lawn first.

They're just called Trinity now, there was a divorce from the Guildhall last year

And they're great exams, more and more teachers are changing over to them, actually, and you don't have to be examined in s/r! You can do General Musical Knowledge instead. I know there are a few people who feel only the AB exams are pukka, but in reality their standing is pretty well equal now.

Of course, you can only duck out of s/f tests until grade 5, and at grade 6 you have to do grade 6 s/r, but by that time - you don't stop practising sight-reading, you just don't have to be tested on it, which I know is your biggest nightmare - if you can play grade 6 pieces you probably acquire the nous and the confidence to deal with it.

If achievement is any motivation for you, YES do think about it (and you could start right from Initial Grade if you wanted a good run-up) have a word with Esmeralda or whatever her name is this week.

xGizzy

dave brum wrote:I WILL take my Grade 1. With this person, when she's done her 'bird';

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -home.html

(ps apologies for posting a Daily Mail link on this page, advised not to scroll down to 'comments' as those are in poorer taste than those on the website of the Guardian)

Wow, that's the FOURTH one I've heard of! How they can possibly think they will get away with it forever just amazes me.

Here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-26177672

and here:
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/9 ... ver_exams/

and here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/mid/3020836.stm

So that's a few that'll be able to provide me with a fake ABRSM distinction pass certificate if I slip them a hundred quid and a few good Google/Yahoo reviews?? Would they even do some handwritten notes to say 'very good sightreader, 19/21 if I slip the examiner another bribeypoos or a sexual favour

dave brum wrote:So that's a few that'll be able to provide me with a fake ABRSM distinction pass certificate if I slip them a hundred quid and a few good Google/Yahoo reviews?? Would they even do some handwritten notes to say 'very good sightreader, 19/21 if I slip the examiner another bribeypoos or a sexual favour

Another???

I seem to remember that your g3 s/r mark was not far off that, whatever the cost to your nerves - so come one, spill the beans (sorry, unfortunate metaphor) what exactly did you offer that examiner (I thought it was a bloke?)? What did you flash at him, your wallet or your... no, forget I said that

I've downloaded the syllabus, but I don't think ......it's actually Mabel........teaches Trinity exams, will have to ask her. When I started with her, I told her I didn't want to do any more piano exams as they just took away the fun and made me anxious (and also, being on benefits I couldn't afford them). But it's good that they just give their candidates to shine at what they excel at and not have to worry about their weak points, unlike the ABRSM. Unless they choose to move the goalpoasts when their new piano syllabus comes out next month. We shall have to wait and see.

gizzy wrote:

dave brum wrote:So that's a few that'll be able to provide me with a fake ABRSM distinction pass certificate if I slip them a hundred quid and a few good Google/Yahoo reviews?? Would they even do some handwritten notes to say 'very good sightreader, 19/21 if I slip the examiner another bribeypoos or a sexual favour

Another???

I seem to remember that your g3 s/r mark was not far off that, whatever the cost to your nerves - so come one, spill the beans (sorry, unfortunate metaphor) what exactly did you offer that examiner (I thought it was a bloke?)? What did you flash at him, your wallet or your... no, forget I said that

I declared nothing, apart from my willingness. Unfortunately, he wasn't bogus. But the place I did it is no longer an ABRSM exam centre. I closed them all.....

I got 128 for my g3, but I don't feel that it was earned. Maybe the examiner DID want me boddeh after all.... sadly if he had asked me to 'join me for lunch' I wouldn't have been able to keep it down.

Gill the Piano wrote:

dave brum wrote: acacciatura and apoggiatura. No idea which is which

No, I always have to go and look 'em up!

My kids' violin teacher taught them about the acciaccatura and then said it had a fat brother called the a-podgy-tura, and demonstrated that it was longer.

There, you'll never have to look it up again, will you?

dave brum wrote:

gizzy wrote:

dave brum wrote:
I got 128 for my g3, but I don't feel that it was earned. Maybe the examiner DID want me boddeh after all.... sadly if he had asked me to 'join me for lunch' I wouldn't have been able to keep it down.

Oo matron!

Oh, ah, sorry, you meant the food. I presume.
(Dirty girl, I should have known Dave Brum wouldn't post a double entendre)

xGizzy

I still don't know which is which! Like clavichords, spinets and virginals.

This page is becoming more and more like 'Carry On Behind' every day, with you as Professor Vooshka.

dave brum wrote:This page is becoming more and more like 'Carry On Behind' every day, with you as Professor Vooshka.

Carry On Playing! That's it.

dave brum wrote:I've downloaded the syllabus, but I don't think ......it's actually Mabel........teaches Trinity exams, will have to ask her. When I started with her, I told her I didn't want to do any more piano exams as they just took away the fun and made me anxious (and also, being on benefits I couldn't afford them). But it's good that they just give their candidates to shine at what they excel at and not have to worry about their weak points, unlike the ABRSM. Unless they choose to move the goalpoasts when their new piano syllabus comes out next month. We shall have to wait and see.

You don't teach exams, though. Anyone can prepare pupils and enter them for exams, you can do it yourself. I THINK with Trinity you don't even have to register as an applicant, though even with ABRSM you can do that for yourself. You don't have to be qualified or accredited or anything, it's just easier for the admin purposes. You can download entry forms from the Trinity website.

I suppose there are some teachers who still think that only AB exams "count", but assuming this is the Mabel I think it is, I don't think for as moment she's that backward-looking or narrow-minded.

People do exams for all sorts of reasons, but for adults I think the most common are (1) to prove to themselves (sod the others) what level they are now at, and (2) often it's the only time you ever work at a piece even when you know the notes, work to improve it - particularly if you don't also do any performing. You can always do a "genuine fake exam" - prepare everything and have someone do an unofficial assessment with the comforting reality that it's not the real thing.

dave brum wrote:I still don't know which is which! Like clavichords, spinets and virginals.

Oh, Dave, that one's easy!

Clavichord is another name for the collar bone

Spinet is an anagram of t'penis

Virginals are the white notes.

Glad that's sorted out. Hope there isn't a censorbot on this forum!

xGizzy

gizzy wrote:

dave brum wrote:I still don't know which is which! Like clavichords, spinets and virginals.

penis

Good job this isn't the ABRSM forum. You'd have your member ship suspended (no pun intended).

Thought you might find this account of the Helen Smith bogus exams funny.

http://news-all-the-time.com/2014/05/15 ... k-parents/

xGizzy

dave brum wrote:

gizzy wrote:

dave brum wrote:I still don't know which is which! Like clavichords, spinets and virginals.

penis

Good job this isn't the ABRSM forum. You'd have your member ship suspended (no pun intended).

No, it would just put a load of sharps where the p"nis should have been

On second thoughts I'd sooner have the suspension ouch

I've actually suspended myself for a week after some aggro with some parents (not mine!) and am sulking in the forum cafe, just having fun with the "Finish off my sentence" thread. Sneak in and have a look, I'm sure you can still read it. You could start one of those on here. Or I could

xGizzy

Mabs' website (http://www.mabelfogglethwaitebmushons.co.uk) says her pupils take ABRSM exams, no mention of Trinity. Whether she actually teaches other syllabi remains for me to ask her. Next lesson is on the 24th. (it's not the Mabel you think it is. You're thinking of F@nny Fosdyke, wouldn't go back to her and in any case, she wouldn't have me back anyway!)

I think the main reason adults do them are for measured goals, with kids it's different as most of them don't get a say in the matter