7 Year old that wont practise but still wants lessons!

[Mini_mo]

Hello,

I am new to this forum and wondered whether anyone could give me some advice as to what they would do in my situation. My daughter is 7 years old and wanted to learn to play the piano (she started September 08), so after a few months of her hassling me, I organised weekly lessons, rented a piano etc, etc. I am also learning to play too and having 1 lesson a month.

My issue is that whilst she says she loves lessons with her teacher, she is unfortunately the kind of child that doesn't persevere at anything and hardly ever practises at home!

I would really love my daughter to continue her lessons, but the truth of the matter is that she just does not have any desire or commitment to practise, even for 10 minutes at home. Her piano teacher said it would be a shame if she stopped as she has good ability (if she practised) and we have both been trying to encourage her.

I have never pushed her to practise, only encouraged her as she is the kind of child that if pushed will give up, but of late am becoming more fustrated with the situation. I always sit down and explain to her that I would love to have more frequent lessons but cannot afford it and if she wants to learn the piano as she says she does, she needs to show some commitment. She always she she will, but then never does. I always ask her why she doesnt want to practise and she says its boring. I have asked her what could we do to make it more interesting but she never gives me an answer!

Of late though I am now at the point where I am making her sit down to practise (on our teachers' advice) and she has a strop and a huff and a puff and then finally gets on with it.

I always offer to sit down with her but she gets cross with me if I try to help (and to be honest I am not much help either!). I do realise she is only young and that many children would probably rather be out playing but she can't even manage 10 minutes most of the time. It's just excuse after excuse.

I was hoping to hear from people as to how you would deal with the situation. What I really want to do is cancel her lessons and take them for myself as after all I am dedicated and want to learn. I feel mean but I really have given her every chance.

Thanks in advance

[Gill the Piano]

Tell her exactly that; if she doesn't practise, the lessons will stop as you're wasting money. It made me practise as a kid, because I knew my parents meant it.

[Mini_mo]

Thanks for your reply. I have said that already (as an empty threat I am afraid) so I guess I should now go through with it, if she doesn't change her ways!

[Gill the Piano]

Go for it; tell her she's got a term to get her backside into gear or you're having her lessons. That should concentrate her mind a bit...

[simplesimon]

Does she ever play for any one? Has she got other friends that also play and she can get together with them?
Is it because the pieces she is working on are too easy?

If she started in September she must have a few pieces under her belt, does she have any favourites? Have a go at playing some games with her. Number her top six pieces and roll a dice ask her to play the piece with the number from the dice.

Interest and enthusiasm isn't always going to meet our expectations.

[ETP's Mum]

Hi

In my house we use bribery....I think of it as healthy incentives. It works for my 6 & 9 year old! Not sure what a psychologist would say, but it works for us. For each minute you practice you can have equal minutes on the computer/Wii/trampoline/extra bedtime etc whatever works!

I find this is really good when they are starting off on a new piece and it's all a bit difficult. They are much more keen to play when they know that something sounds really good.

Not that we do that every day, sometimes they just sit and practice but it helps when they can't be bothered!

Also the music can sometimes helps. 6yo is learning "Where is Love" and thinks it's great because Dec sang it on Ant and Decs Saturday Night Takeaway! Apparently that makes it cooool!

Good Luck!

[Mini_mo]

Hi,

Thanks for all your comments help etc. We have made progress since I gave her an ultimatum, she knows she has to practise every morning (with exceptions) or I have the lessons. I call it a positive circle because now she is practising more she is making faster progress, therefore keener and at the moment doesn't complain when it's time to practise. We'll see how it goes.....

[bluedianthus]

i hope your daughter already got the motivation to learn the piano by herself. maybe she doesnt realize it yet that she has the potential to go beyond her talent. i suggest that you assign her or just say "i hope you play something nice during thanksgiving" or "i wnt you to play this song on my birthday". Encourage her in a good way. you as her mother will know what your kid really want to do. best of luck...God bless

[markymark]

Hi,

Thanks for all your comments help etc. We have made progress since I gave her an ultimatum, she knows she has to practise every morning (with exceptions) or I have the lessons. I call it a positive circle because now she is practising more she is making faster progress, therefore keener and at the moment doesn't complain when it's time to practise. We'll see how it goes.....

When children start to see themselves getting better, then that acts as great self-motivation.

That's great news!