Motivation
Moderators: Feg, Gill the Piano
Motivation
I would appreciate any comments on my dilemma. Are there any other teachers out there who teach but don't perform (anymore) and struggle with motivation when it comes to their own playing, and if so, what do they do about it? I am Mum to a 9 year old and a very nearly 2 year old, and whilst I am teaching still, there is next to no time left to practice myself. I find that when I do get the chance to sit and play I am frustrated by how far my technique has deteriorated and lament the fact I can no longer tackle the masterpieces I used to play with relative ease in my college days. Whilst I have no desire to go back to the recital stage I would love to find a way of getting myself going again.
At the moment I find myself avoiding the piano rather than face the issues it raises for me. Any suggestions?
Motivation
I have only been teaching on and off for about 5 years, but already find that after I have seen the last pupil out of the door, the last thing I want to do is start practicing myself! (Funnily enough, even more so after lessons with beginners that although musically are not challenging, but mentally I find exhausting). Consequently, things that I used to play as a youngster, I certainly can't manage these days.
However, I think it is important to keep playing "something" outside of the usual teaching regime, and have been fortunate enough to pick up quite a lot of accompanying work over the years. This means that having agreed to take this on, you have to find time to practice, and it does help with the motivation. Dependent upon the type of work, it also keeps the technique going!
Have you thought about doing some accompanying? Good accompanists are extremely difficult to find, and it can be extremely rewarding working closely with another musician/singer, which seldom happens as a solo pianist. Perhaps this is something you could consider? It may just do the trick! You can even register yourself for free as an accompanist on this site, and who knows what work you might pick up.
If 'getting through', then a variety of works at a time, gradually improving, but enjoying the playing as you go, may find you gravitating to the piano more often.
If you want to get it right, then just one or two approachable pieces at a time (maybe ones you have never looked at before) might enable you to get a sense of improvement quickly.
Either way, studies at an appropriate level (you give no indication of your ability, I'm guessing Grade 8+ and that you are a 'get it right' person) will ease the pain of recovering a rusty technique. Cramer?
Whatever provides short term pleasure/satisfaction within a long term aim is the way forward and I suspect you know this already.
As someone who left the piano for the harpsichord for nearly 20 years and has spent 10 years building back (and extending) my piano technique (Rachmaninov and Rameau need radically different approaches!) I have some appreciation of where you are, but technique can return.
Hope you can find a way forward: think of the pleasures to come when the children are older.
Stuart
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Post by Gill the Piano »
I agree about the accompanying, it's excellent to do - but you have to brace yourself for the odd idiotic enquiry about 'accompanying my son for Grade VIII [insert name of instrument here] the day after tomorrow'! :\
I have done a considerable amount of accompanying over the years and in fact, it was a recording session I did with a singer just before Christmas which brought it home to me just how far things have slid. Sure, I played the stuff as well as she would have wanted but oh, the aches and pains my poor hands went through! I think my best plan of action is going to be to make a point of setting aside even just half an hour a day to play in the hopes it will keep things ticking over until the youngest starts school, so that when I do need to up the pace for accompanying etc there's less of a mountain to climb. I think moral support from my peers would help enormously if anyone has a magic wand out there!!
Thank you for your encouragement. You read me very well! I am indeed of the "get it right" school, which is what leads to my frustration! I took perfomance as my major option when I did my BA in the early 90s and realise how unrealistic I am being expecting to be able to play like I did when I was practising 8 hours a day!
I've obviously started revisiting my technical exercise books but I take on board your suggestion re studies - can't believe it didn't occur to me, doh! Thank you for that! I suspect the trick is going to be to pitch new repertoire at a level which will challenge me enough that I don't stop to consider the standard I was playing at before.
As for the kids, they're a constant source of amusement and amazement so worth all the sacrifices!
Gill
I'm so glad you mentioned the occasional lesson - I've just contacted a fellow teacher in the area and explained my situation (I've immediately regretted telling him I'm a teacher - I now have to face him for the first time on Thursday wondering what on earth he's goiing to think of my playing now ) I haven't told a soul (not even my husband). It seems such a bizarre thing to do. I have to say, just knowing I've got to play to someone who won't be easily impressed has actually focused my efforts to set aside a little time to sit and tinkle the ivories. Fingers crossed (well, when I'm away from the keyboard, anyway!)
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Post by Gill the Piano »
I'm sure I've read somewhere that you're a piano tuner, haven't I? In which case I'm delighted you play as much as you do. I've got through a fair few tuners in my time and have yet to find one who actually plays more than their one stock piece to check the fruits of their labours when they finish. I've never understood why they don't play when they have such a passion for the instrument they nuture.
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Having been so supportive in my quest for motivation, I thought I'd fill you all in now that I have actually had my first meeting with a fellow teacher.
I think the best way to describe the occasion is "surreal" ( I kid you not, I tell it the way it really happened!)
When I eventually found the place in the middle of a housing estate with no obvious pattern of house numbering (and then only by acosting two old ladies to ask for directions, which led to the obligatory half hour discussion about Aunt Maud) I was greeted by a chap much younger than I'd expected, ie, not geriatric, a damp patch on the wall in keeping with the exterior appearance of the house and a strong smell of incense. "Oh well" I thought, "I'm here now, nothing ventured....."
I then entered the living room, expecting to see a piano awaiting my attention, but nothing that predictable. Instead, there was the largest hospital type bed I have ever seen with a very old lady in it, obviously far from in the best of health. Whilst still trying to get my head round this and maintain some sort of grip on reality, I was asked to go upstairs to the first room on the left which I did with an increasing sense of trepidation. I peeped nervously round the door of the room on the left and saw a bedroom wardrobe and chest of drawers, at which point I thought "Run away". To my huge relief I then saw a desk and a piano.
By this time there was no escape so I just had to take a deep breath and hope for the best. When my teacher came in, we had the usual introductory chat and I started to relax a little as he started asking me all the questions I would have asked if the roles had been reversed. I obviously then lifted the lid of the piano to play, wondering what I would find - answer - a very out of tune, school hallish Bentley which I assume he keeps purely for teaching with his own instrument being somewhere downstairs ( didn't notice it though, probably because of the all dominating bed).
Anyway, to cut a long story short, the chap does seem to know his stuff and i have come away raring to start work on a Handel Suite, Bach Partita, Schumann Romance and revisit the Schubert F minor Fanasie duet which I last played ****years ago at college so it looks like this ultimate in bizarre arrangements is going to serve its purpose. Watch this space!
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Blimey, what an odd lesson. Still, a high percentage of musicians are...eccentric, shall we say. You get used to it after a while - I bet everyone on this forum could outweird your encounter...
The main thing is that you've been galvanised into action and enthused (is that the right term? I dunno, it's Friday and my brain is starting to frizzle) and you're excited about playing. Which is what you wanted - excellent!
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Motivation
A warm welcome from me Celestite. I look forward to reading more of your adventures and this will motivate me to return to the forum more often.
I do so enjoy a good chuckle
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Well, call me a wimp if you like (I answer to most things as long as they don't start with "Mum, he's doing .... "or "Mummy, I got snotty nose") but I'm afraid I just couldn't bring myself to go back to the House of Psycho, if for no other reason than what to do if the old lady had disappeared - sympathy for teacher or relief for pupil. And of course, then there was the Bentley (sigh). So, not to be thwarted at the first (bed?) post, I began my quest afresh.this time with a great deal more success, even if somewhat lacking in bizarreness (?). I have found a wonderful Italian lady some 45 minutes drive away and had my first session with her this afternoon. I knew instantly we were going to see eye to eye when I discovered we're both coming from the same direction, ie, arrival of kids = disappearance of piano playing opportunities. I spent a brilliant child free hour soaking up her enthusiasm having mutually agreed to consider her my mentor rather than my teacher, since she is as keen to absorb from me as I am from her. I have to say, she insisited she was just being honest, but I do think she was being very kind in her appraisal of my playing. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have come away enthused to start work on a Bach English Suite (2 or 3), a Scarlatti sonata and a piece by Glazunov.
I was brought very abruptly from cloud 9 back to earth when I got home to find my daughter proudly showing off her prowess at Old MacDonald on the piano to my parents whilst being watched in amusement by her little brother sitting on his potty."Ho hum" I thought, "welcome home, Mum"!
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Was little brother passing comment on sister's playing, then...?
That is exactly how I view my piano - it's what I am when I'm not Mum! The only reason I don't listen to piano music is because invariably, when I put the radio on, it's playing something I used to perform when I was at college, which only serves to highlight how far things have slid in terms of my own playing. That having been said, now that I have rekindled my passion for playing whenever I can, I have set myself targets which should mean it won't be too long before I can tackle all the greats again and listen to them with equal enthusiasm!
You can't possibly live in such a dreadful place - that honour goes to a town a few miles down the road from us (won't name it for fear of being a victim of the lynch mob which resides therein!) and I guess from yourname that you live rather more than a few miles away from us!
As for Celestite, it is taken from my other passion in life - crystals. Celestite is a stunningly beautiful blue quartz like crystal (I take it's name, not its properties!) I did suffer the surname Smith for 23 years until I banged my head against the wall hard enough one day to come to my senses and divorce him! Hubby number two gave me a much nicer, even if still ordinary name!
In my vast experience of life and especially as a muso and a mother I have found sanity not to be all it's cracked up to be. It definitely pays to be two planks short of a full floor, imho!
Congrats on mastering Eb - I was doing battle with Db melodic minor yesterday and realising just how many years it's been since I did any serious practice. I'm glad to report the scale lost it's battle to defeat me, yay! I've been very good so far and used any pupil cancelations as extra practice time and poked my tongue out at the duster in preference for a few extra precious moments tinkling the ivories so the quest continues......
As for Trace, well, no problem as long as you don't mind answering to Sharon!
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Do some scale practice for me, will you? I loathe them!
It's fine being Barking; it's when you're Upney that trouble starts... (ie one step beyond Barking...)!
When I was at college, it took two hours to practice the 144 different scales and arpeggios which were compulsory requirements and I have to say I loathed them with a passion, as you can imagine, so now, just a carefully selected few each day really doesn't seem anywhere near so arduous. In fact, they help me to switch out of "everything else" mode and into "piano" mode.
I suppose we should really be aiming at being Baching, shouldn't we?
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When I first met my hubby he decided he would learn to play the piano, something he'd always wanted to do. All was going well until we started living together and he stopped playing because he couldn't handle the idea of practicing in front of his piano teacher I bit my tongue furiously when he was playing and didn't say a word, so as not to discourage him but he said it was no good because he knew exactly what I would be thinking so it was just as bad as saying it out loud. Hmm...not what you'd call a roaring success in terms of my inspirational effect on him!
I think I got the better end of the deal - his claim to faim is being able to convert me to the finer points of malt whisky, another of his passions!
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Post by Gill the Piano »
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Post by Gill the Piano »
I really think you should have a pop at Grade I, Dave; nobody need know you're taking it, as you can enter yourself. Go on!!!!
I echo Gill's comments on that one. What I have done in the past with pupils who have wanted a tangible measure of their progress but either not wanted to or not been able to raise the courage to take exams officially is to prepare them for the exam and then just given them a pseudo exam, or performance appraisal, call it what you will, so they know what standard they have achieved. (Incidentally, as far as the confidence goes, I've always waited until they feel really comfortable with me - I won't go as far as to say less intimidated by me as I don't do scary very well, as my 9 year old has often told me!)
I wasn't thinking of exams when I asked you what level you play at, although I suppose it should have occured to me that they are the way most people measure their level. I suppose it would have been better to ask what sort of thing you play.
As for my lessons, I haven't had another one yet. We've agreed on once a month on the basis that it's the motivation I need rather than instruction, as such, and being realistic, the amount I get to practice would make more frequent lessons pointless. I have already noticed, however, the mere fact I know that whatever I'm practicing will ultimately have to be played to my mentor has toned up my practice techniques and self criticism, making me much less slap dash than I might otherwise have been. (There's a confession for you!)
I love the term pianorak, not heard it before! Good job we're not cellists, really, isn't it? Cellorak would make us sound like some kind of vegetable.
It will be interesting to see if you have the same problem when it comes to playing to a teacher. It's very common to make a complete hash of something you can play with your eyes shut when there's a teacher or anyone else listening. How about this as a mental approach? If you could play everything perfectly you wouldn't need a teacher in the first place. The whole point of having lessons is to sort out the problems, ergo no problems, no need for lessons! I will be the first to admit I have all sorts of areas in my playing which will benefit from my mentoring. The time you think you can do it perfectly is the time to quit, imho!
I somehow think Herefordshire would push the term "distance learning" a bit far! Funny you should mention Reiki but I was discussing it with some friends yesterday along with the idea of trying to find someone to teach us Tai Chi. Are you a Reiki master, then?
Grade 1 (like all the other grades) consisits of scales for the grade, in this case C, G, D and F majors, A minor, C major contrary motion and broken chords and arrpegios in the keys of C. G, F majors and A and D minors, 3 pieces chosen from the syllabus, a piece of sight reading and some aural tests. None of which is anywhere near as daunting as it sounds. Cost is £28.20 and there will be various centres you could take it at, I'll check it out and let you know.
You would deserve more than just a certificate if you did go for it, but what an achievement, eh? I have a great mate who's favourite saying is "feel the fear and do it".
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Post by Gill the Piano »
For nerves, Dave, read 'The Inner Game Of Music' by somebody Green. You can get a 2nd hand one on Amazon. Also Rescue Remedy is good. Or alcohol - performance goes to hell, but you don't care. Also, you could just say 'no' when someone tries to make you play for 'em and you don't want to!
How unfair is it that alcohol makes you utterly fearless but gives you a handful of left thumbs? My performance nerves always manifest themselves with the most dreadful shakes, not helpful in this profession, and I did once try beta blockers to combat this. They worked brilliantly for stopping the shakes but numbed the reactions to the extent that when one of "those" moments came where you think "oh heck (or words to that effect) what comes next?" there was no response and it took me a lot longer to get back on track (by bluffing my way through until I remembered what came next!) The only thing I've found which makes any real difference is just to keep doing it lots. I had to prepare for a diploma up in London once (no pressure!) and wanted to do well so I took a deep breath and for the fortnight preceeding the exam played to somebody at least once a day, preferably the scariest lecturers I could find at college. On the day, instinct took over and I got the best mark I'd ever got in any exam. I guess it's a case of what I said earlier about feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
In my case, however much I would have loved to have been a concert pianist, although I have (or rather had) the ability, I just didn't have the nerves and self belief to make it, so I empathise entirely, Dave.
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Just an update on progress. I saw my mentor again today and came away truly inspired, as last time. It is so encouraging to hear a fellow pianist comment on just how (and I use her exact words) "bloody difficult" something is when I've been berating myself for not making better progress with it (in this case, a Scarlatti Sonata). She was hugely complimentary about my playing - I'm still convinced she's being overly kind and working on confidence building!
Anyway, I have come away enthused to get cracking in the morning when both little ones are out the house and who knows, I might even manage to get the impetus to go out in the conservatory and get it together with Roland once the kids are in bed during the school holidays (where I'd previously resigned myself to the fact I won't anywhere near the ivories for the next fortnight.)
Watch this space!
I've whimped out completely on the June concert but would love to be able to say yes to the EPTA concert. Trouble is, I haven't given a public recital in years and when I did used to play in public the performance nerves had to be seen to be believed. Although my audiences always said how much they enjoyed my performances, to me, the nerves became very destructive (not least of all because of the amount they made my hands shake) and the whole performance became sheer torture for me.
I SO want to be able to do this! Any of you dear people out there have any suggestions and strategies for performing in public when the nerves are off the scale (oops, sorry about the pun) with the resulting plummeting of confidence?
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Post by Gill the Piano »
There's Bach Flower Remedies' Rescue Remedy - good stuff, works well.
There's meditation...or there's medication! Some performers use one beta-blocker taken before a performance which quietens the shaking and adrenalin response. Although a) there are those who say the adrenalin is what makes the performance, and b) if you're asthmatic they won't give it to you. You have to make it clear to your doctor that you only want ONE pill for ONE performance.
Thanks for the advice, sorry it's taken so long to respond - life, kids, the universe, you know how it goes!
I'm a big fan of homeopathy and the Bach remedies but I think mine is a psychological rather than a physiological problem and I don't have great enough mental control to get control of the rest of me on stage! It all boils down to knowing I can do it but not being able to prove I can do it (and I know all the psychology that lies behind that one, but as I said, I don't have enough control over my brain and the tangents it goes off on to be able to combat it!) I did once try beta blockers for a recital I gave but whilst they worked brilliantly on the shaking hands, they numbed the senses to the extent I had very slow reactions when I needed to be completely on top of things.
However, I survived an emergency visit to the dentist last week and had I known what lay in store I would have taken all the normal sedation I use just to get myself into the chair. Since I thought I was just going in for a diagnosis I didn't take anything and drove myself there. 2 hours later, after 30 mins of drilling and an extraction, I came out thinking "if I can do that, I can do anything"! So you never know, I may yet conquer this spectre which has haunted me all my playing years!
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Post by Gill the Piano »
Dave; Face yourself in the mirror, breathing deeply and evenly. Close your eyes, still breathing deeply and evenly, in through the nose, out through the mouth. When you're fully relaxed, open your eyes slowly, look yourself in the eye and then slap yourself round the head, shouting the mantra 'SNAP OUT OF IT!'
Works for me...
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