The Infamous Ebayer is back!

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 24 Apr 2006, 23:04

Always enjoy reading these Forums,so I thought you may like to know the Infamous Piano seller of Olde Ebay Town have now digressed to....Snooker tables...circa 1920s.

I wonder whether he has a sense of humour as I have sent him this message:-

"Hi.Please can you confirm this was the actual snooker table Josslyn Hay rogered all those married women on in Happy Valley.If so,I will interested in bidding.Thanks."

Dare he reply in public for all to see?

Personally I prefer the Bosendorfer Imperial grand myself with the extra keys.

Enjoy!

http://search.ebay.co.uk/_W0QQsassZraymanboyQQhtZ-1

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 25 Apr 2006, 18:00

Thank you SOOOOOOOo much for alerting us; I could do with a laugh.
Have you REALLY played snooker on a Bozo Imperial? Or did you...

????!!!! Oo, matron...

Post by **Barrie Heaton** » 25 Apr 2006, 18:53

What is sad is the Bechstein Boudoir Grand what a dogs dinner it now is the sound board is badly done I have seen straighter roller coasters that them hammers ands as for RED baring felt tut tut

Barrie,

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 25 Apr 2006, 19:27

...yes, but balance that against the joy and laughter he brings to all of us...

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 25 Apr 2006, 21:53

Hello there and thanks for your replies.

I did actually receive a couple of replies. The first being a mere "!" - but I thought he could do better and he did. * my inserts *

Forgive my previous brevity - wasn't intended and you get doing this and would much rather have stayed the concerting pianist I used to be.
Now, White Mischief? I must have been playing then or touring London, nut the worst, take it from me are the Italians.
If I remember rightly White Mischief had Meryl Streep or Virginia MacKenna (carve her name with pride).

* He is most defo wrong here and obviously doesn't use google *

Neither of these played theopiano - which is why I probably don;t remember the film.
Snooker table needs a use (and never got it). Didn;t think there was one in the film if did see it. Paul Newman almost used one (The Hustler), and Tom Cruise never came up to it.
This needs a good repolish to the tops if you're interested I can do it. It currently has a lot of junk on it but so do the grands! Depends which one you want to play at the time - *provided mobile number - no thanks*

I would clear the table for a serious buyer/as for the piano for a serious pianist.You sound like one - or a Lawrence Olivier or his wife (I have forgotten her name - wasn't Howard summer!?)

* Lord Oliver's 2nd wife was Vivien Leigh.Her of "Gone With the Wind" fame. Aswell as being extremely beautiful,she was also a manic-depressive. 3rd wife was Joan Plowright*

I did email again and I received a very nice reply,but I don't think it appropriate nor fair to post it.He is defo fishing and now thinks I maybe an actress.He is wrong.

Let's continue enjoying reading his "masterwork" item descriptions and I will leave the man in peace.

As for my conclusion into his character.He sounds a thoroughly decent chappie.Highly eccentric and would probably make an exceedingly interesting dinner companion for an evening.

But the moral of this is: Always take an expert along when looking/purchasing pianos second hand...and brand new come to think of this.

Keep up the good work. I often direct people to your excellent site,Barrie.Long may it continue.

Kindest regards.

Edit: I have just checked on the snooker table auction.He has revised the listing.A bit tame, IMHO, but there is mention of the Roman Empire - hint to my eBay posting ID - and he "would entertain the offer and mutually for eBay" because he is concerned "some repolishing will be necessary for the lids"...

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 26 Apr 2006, 21:42

Bluthner has got a bid on it!

#7408018368

One down,two more to go. No one has bid on the snooker table yet...

Will the buyer be a happy bunny or not?

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 27 Apr 2006, 21:41

I think he's a sheister.

Take a look at the 50cc 'car' he's flogging.

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 28 Apr 2006, 06:34

PianoGuy wrote:I think he's a sheister.

Take a look at the 50cc 'car' he's flogging.

Since he was "exposed" I have had a look at quite a few of his auctions.

True - he is a rough diamond/conman. But if people don't bid,he wouldn't keep listing.I consider him to be part of the Happy Valley set...just born a bit too late.

I would really love to see his feedback. He doesn't appear to leave feedback for his buyers either.

Best regards

ValeriusMax the First - all female.

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 28 Apr 2006, 07:24

D Minor wrote: True - he is a rough diamond/conman. But if people don't bid,he wouldn't keep listing.I consider him to be part of the Happy Valley set...just born a bit too late.

I would really love to see his feedback. He doesn't appear to leave feedback for his buyers either.

Yeah, I'd love to see that too!

I think he's a real chancer. His listings are so elaborate and the reserves or sps are so high that I reckon he's spending between 30 and 40 quid on each listing. Given that most don't sell first time (Rawicz and Landauer's Blüthner was listed for about 4 weeks!) he is banking on losing up to 200 quid in fees for each listing. His cars sell better than his pianos, but before he screened his feedback reports, I remember one bidder being less than happy with his purchase of a Rover 100. You should have seen the old woofer of a Roller that he was flogging last month. A grand's-worth at most and more holes in it than Blackburn Lancashire. Start price? 5K!

My guess is that he's elderly and originally from Eastern Europe, such is his command of English, although I reckon he's been in England for a long time in order to pick up so many of the little phrases and misquotes that he uses so beautifully. He could be Polish I suppose, but the red-felted Bechstein suggests that his piano restoration isn't even up to their usual standard!

Long may he live to provide us all with such joy!

tuna · Post by **tuna** » 29 Apr 2006, 13:37

personally, I think he's a bit of a muppet.....

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 29 Apr 2006, 14:24

But a highly amusing muppet...

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 06 May 2006, 16:20

Beware!

He now has another alias with 100% feedback, "chelsea-dollshouse-antiques" but if you check, the feedback is all for stuff he's bought. The rubbish he's sold hasn't yet been commented upon. My guess is that as soon as he gets a negative, he'll "hide" his feedback comments!

The old rogue!!

PG

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 07 May 2006, 09:51

PianoGuy wrote:Beware!

He now has another alias with 100% feedback, "chelsea-dollshouse-antiques" but if you check, the feedback is all for stuff he's bought. The rubbish he's sold hasn't yet been commented upon. My guess is that as soon as he gets a negative, he'll "hide" his feedback comments!

The old rogue!!

PG

Well spotted. He is using a trading assistant.I presume you found him through searching for pianos and saw the similarity in his unique style of prose! I see he has used the old trick of buying a few items to build up feedback first.Some very interesting subject matter...but enough said.

Byrolinda · Post by **Byrolinda** » 28 May 2006, 12:17

Some weeks ago I sent him a response suggesting more technical info and less irrellevant stuff about Mendelssohn living in Leipzig when the piano he was trying to sell was early 20th century! I tried to be subtle, but he got very shirty and stroppy. I also alerted Ebay (mistakenly) to his 'Private' listing ... I was new to Ebay and thought that this meant he was trying to pass himself off as a private seller when he was obviously a dealer. Anyway, soon after he adopted his new nom - de - plume! I agree though, VERY amusing!

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 29 May 2006, 09:03

I've asked him a few questions and I too received a shirty response. He's selling crap and he knows it.

Must admit that I quite fancied his Silver Shadow at the right price.... About 1.5K max for one in that condition

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 30 May 2006, 21:10

Hello Everyone!

This link sorts out the private feedback matter!

http://www.goofbay.co.uk/

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 01 Jul 2006, 16:15

The cheeky sod's at it again! Item 220002869963 is described as "The American Steinway". Surely Steinway have already covered that one by building in New York?

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 01 Jul 2006, 18:09

He's a bit quiet, though, innee? I mean, where is the usual two feet of cobblers which normally makes his listings such a joy to read...

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 02 Jul 2006, 21:46

The Francke 220002858078 has been reduced because "the item is not at concert pitch - a point which was too late noticed for this auction and too late for Funeral of a friend " ...oh dear...but it "is a great little performer selling of its owner, age taking into account its modern technical features and cabinet features would be about 100 years"....What?

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 03 Jul 2006, 15:56

I've just had a norrible thought...you don't think he's John Prescott, do you?

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 02 Sep 2006, 09:36

His alias is back with a gem!

220021758014

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 02 Sep 2006, 10:25

PianoGuy wrote:His alias is back with a gem!

220021758014

Another cracker! You would be up till " Round Midnight" to read it all in depth.

The reference to "twangy" leads me to post this link. Remember the kids series " Rainbow" ?

http://www.veryfunnydownloads.com/funny ... ow233.html

Enjoy!

Hope this link doesn't offend anyone - if it does I will remove it.

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 02 Sep 2006, 11:19

To paraphrase Gill:

"Wash your maouth out with soap"

PG

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 30 Sep 2006, 15:16

Item number 220032593242

before the listing finishes!

What's he on?

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 30 Sep 2006, 19:08

It's a tradjedy...

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 01 Oct 2006, 16:44

"For whether we plant a tree, acclaim a performer, or play ourselves, it is true nonetheless we become aroused and touched by beauty.
The tradjedy is the piano survives, the people do not."

"We know that for the sacrifce Mary made the musical instrument is a price worth paying."

Makes you wonder whether it was an ménage à trois conducted under the piano that causeth to beheadeth her?

I suppose the axe was fashioned out of the same bark too?

I might just ask that question and see if it makes any more sense to the other question that has been answered.

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 01 Oct 2006, 19:17

A: Tom your questionSorry NO we certainly did not say it would cost ?2000 to do the work, Myrtle did the ad - the fading is not to the whole left side I don't know why she put it - it is actully only about six inches of fading and at that about a foot from her tail o the left and assume it is dry timber - we think that bit will colour perfectly and have contactes polish ers to ave a look at it and see what they say. Though they said they could do the whole think, we have not found this ever necessary as it usually takes away from the antiqutey as too have not been quoted a good price/had a fair assesment/or looks acceptable we think as it is though you would be very welcome to view before bidding as the bid is to buy. It plays OK and will be tuned before it goes out subject to those considerations in the desvriptionThankyou It would cost ?2000 to polish another piano not this one and we have been told bess wax as rosewood will do the job though we don't know at this stage.
Ask sell

Bess wax?

And the sneaky old bustard has increased the 'buy it now' price.

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 01 Oct 2006, 19:46

Bess wax...you know, as used to polish Queen Elizabeth I, who played this piano whilst waiting for her sister, Mary Queen of Scots, to be beheaded. With an axe made of rosewood...

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 02 Oct 2006, 06:58

The reply:

"Dear Val,
The executioner was usually wearing ear muffs as the chanting from the heather brothers was some'n to reckon for all Rome's despondent decline.
I think it is true that Elizabeth has a lot more guilt to answer for re those carrying out er rorders. Unfortunately it semms, she got away with...but if she had stuck to her piano lessons and bought something to polish and cherish and care for rather than to get jealous about, then even this cheap item would have meant the Scottish walnut was nothing to be afraid of. I am quite affected by it and play a lot less myself my dear I might say as a result - I even failed with The Poor Scool though I thought Edmund;s speach was a trifle better than my piano playing.
Buy it, you know what a fine ornament this is compared to the mass. Produced Yamaha. And a lot lighter to play on the keys, and admire the grain from afar if you like marbling. Always see potential better in the woodmore than any brave metal of those Italian jobs..."

Mmmm...thought I might well have had him stumped there

Sorry about that pun. Hope you don't choke on your morning's cuppa!All in the name of Fun...

Perhaps he remembered me from the snooker table??? And Val isn't my name.

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 02 Oct 2006, 18:24

Price going up and down like a yo-yo. He's halved it now!

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 02 Oct 2006, 19:26

I'm nearly deserting Corrie to watch this instead...

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 02 Oct 2006, 20:06

Maybe it's developed woodworm or he's doing a cost cutting exercise on BIN fees?

The plot thickens...

David B · Post by **David B** » 04 Oct 2006, 11:24

Now come on, you've got to admit that this one (220032432374) tempts you

"In simple terms, this is an elderly as very rare like any older perhaps prized Make might be that rarity is not just in grain and style. As also a top type mechanical specification therefore with its overstringing and roller action, this notably is a finer as older very stongly built grand at that time in Germany.

And, one which whether its buyer seeks the tone and touch of something different or just wants a reliable easy to play instrument rather than some heavily weighted keys which all to often find themselves on twenty-first century technology.

This therefore is not a luxury but a necessity? Should think so, and will give many hours of playing pleasure and you will love to spare only the time just to dust - for its expected ew owner will never more resist longer denying themselves all the more time to tinker hours - entranced tickling its ivories."

AND, for a little extra you can have "any agreed reconditioning" (not that it isn't perrfec already, mind..)

Go on, mack him an offering, you know you want to

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 04 Oct 2006, 13:53

David B wrote:Now come on, you've got to admit that this one (220032432374) tempts you

"In simple terms, this is an elderly as very rare like any older perhaps prized Make might be that rarity is not just in grain and style. As also a top type mechanical specification therefore with its overstringing and roller action, this notably is a finer as older very stongly built grand at that time in Germany.

And, one which whether its buyer seeks the tone and touch of something different or just wants a reliable easy to play instrument rather than some heavily weighted keys which all to often find themselves on twenty-first century technology.

This therefore is not a luxury but a necessity? Should think so, and will give many hours of playing pleasure and you will love to spare only the time just to dust - for its expected ew owner will never more resist longer denying themselves all the more time to tinker hours - entranced tickling its ivories."

AND, for a little extra you can have "any agreed reconditioning" (not that it isn't perrfec already, mind..)

Go on, mack him an offering, you know you want to

Offering? A ritual sacrifice?

Can you make any sense of The Pledge - apart from dusting?

I see the one bid has been declined and the user ID does not exist...

I will just keep on enjoying reading his descriptions. It's certainly an educational inspiration to us all.

"- the roller-action assisting we think greatly here to that their composers original fierce quality my father's life was bound no less to the suavivity of the Great: yes Liberace, though you don't need his money, just this piano!"

Is his father Liberace? Give me the money!!!!

And this:

THE ITEM HERE IS A HIGHLY RECOMMENDED GRAND WITH A BEAUTIFUL TONE FROM THE OLDER GERMANY WE ALL KNOW VIRTUALLY NOTHING ABOUT AS MANY MAJOR GERMAN CITIES WERE OBLITERATED.

Eh?

David B · Post by **David B** » 13 Oct 2006, 16:49

I like his this musing...

"J.G. Irmler from Leipzig ...

...in featured detail quality in appearance with its amazingly as never seen before morticed double-top-lid-stay and its twin decorativetop-lid knobs, don't be fooled - right down not only but also more especially to tone, touch -- would it not so much better be with you playing it more easily pictured?! I have the edge on you in that I have played it. It was serviced by a concert piainist who was a fanatic. Well, arent we all"

You said it pal

I bet you didn't know that Irmler was second only to Steinway, did you?

David B · Post by **David B** » 01 Dec 2006, 16:41

and its called......drumroll please....

Cesspit Pianos!

Here is his latest offering:

T!OP MAKER "FRANCKE" from the 1850s to about the 1950s GERMANY
A GRAND PIANO
HENCE FINE TOP SPECIFICATION CONCERT PIECE
A very original item sbout 100 years old OF TOP TYPE SPECIFICATION
A RARE PIANO IDEAL FOR A PERFORMER AND AT A LOW PRIC. IMMEDIATE DELIVERY FROM STOCK WITH OTHER ITEM/S WHERE MENTIONED VIEWABLE ANYTIME

SUBSTANTIALLY REDUCED

Not restored - its frame and markings and flags engravings believed original.

This piano speaks - maybe, it says: "Its alright mama you no got a Steinway anything like that but Ill play for you (like Steinbeck or someone did once). This piano' possesses a good touch and tone with a very ornate and beautiful undercarriage. A large and impressive item with its top lid raised and ornamental stand, we have not the area to show it off A La London Palladium.

The item as well as having all the top features ie overstrung iron frame, roller action etc the quality of the gold cast frame speaks for itself, if anything so grand as on the Elgin marbles would surely be ten times this amount - we would have thought.

Disregarding that, to put it another way, if not by concondition of anything like concourse, one means to say (I should think) that the car-equivalent of this piano would be be the Hispano Suiza (if it were still made - of the early 20thCentury before you were born)built for the Spanish Royalty no less. Most Brits will never have heard of that.

Such is commercialism I would definately not want to play a new piano after playing and owning this. But that's me.

Consider too, Germany fought for Spain, and, one might, if, would dare say fopr Hisano Suiza? I shouldn't think so.

Rolls Royce however actually paid Hispano Suiza royalties to borrow their brakes! And this: Francke, here, borrowed the best and all of just about everything you've seen on any top make - most! ( - So many top makes you surely cannot be serious saying them here - but you know what they are, don't you, come and play this and you'll be shocked at the quality of tone I think).

Try if only a scale or two on this. It is like witnessing the Last Of The Mohicans - I needed lessons - period!.

Bidders with under 5 feedback (or have never heard of Die Winterreisse by Schubert who was a good deal shorter than this grand is long except when on horseback - one viewer mentioned he walked everywhere - not in a month of winters) please leave your contact detail before placing your bid or your bid may may be reected entirely at sellers discretion"

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 01 Dec 2006, 21:41

Franke eh?
That bloke's got everything including the kitchen sink!

What a wazzock!

PG

A440 · Post by **A440** » 02 Dec 2006, 01:42

What a bargain!e-Bay Item No 280055850370

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 04 Dec 2006, 22:03

Cesspit Pianos!?

Classy!

photomoto · Post by **photomoto** » 18 Jan 2007, 21:49

Hiya, I bought a part-working fender rhodes off this guy.....I have not paid for it yet.

I wanted to know his address so I pumped his ebay name into google and your little forum came up, doesn't really put me at ease - at least now I will look before I buy, even if it costs me bad feedback.

I'll let you know what I find out.

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 19 Jan 2007, 08:26

It's yonks since I worked with these, but a shop I worked at sold loads in the late '70s.

Nice.

Except I reckon it's possibly a Suitcase 73, not a Stage, fitted with Stage legs and pedals. Vibrato didn't usually come fitted to the Stage because it needs some sort of power supply, and the Stage models were totally passive like an electric guitar.

Either that, or it is the much rarer version of the Stage 73 meant to be supplied with an external amp and two speakers (the Vibrato was simply a 'ping-pong' effect from one speaker to the other) so you're being cheated out of those speaker cabs, which would have no purpose nor connections on a Stage model and he's lost the power amp. Check the leg fittings. If they don't appear to be original, then it's an adapted Suitcase model, if they do, it's one of these.

For 500 quid you've got a fair deal, but he's still either diddling you out of something or (more likely) he hasn't got a clue.

Post by **Barrie Heaton** » 19 Jan 2007, 08:54

PianoGuy wrote: For 500 quid you've got a fair deal, but he's still either diddling you out of something or (more likely) he hasn't got a clue.

How can this be a good deal if it is not working - part working !

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 19 Jan 2007, 20:50

Barrie Heaton wrote:
PianoGuy wrote: For 500 quid you've got a fair deal, but he's still either diddling you out of something or (more likely) he hasn't got a clue.
How can this be a good deal if it is not working - part working !

It's not good, but fair!

The Rhodes will work fine if plugged into an amplifier, but won't have the vibrato effect. Only the Suitcase models generally had it (it's a bit naff sounding in any case) and contributes little to the famous Rhodes sound as usually heard.

A Wurlitzer without vibrato is a different matter.

photomoto · Post by **photomoto** » 20 Jan 2007, 19:00

Hiya, well the moment you've all been waiting for - whats he like to meet?

Well on friday I went to the house to 'measure' the keyboard for the car (actually I was seeing whether I wanted to part with the cash) and checked it out. I was happy to pay for what it was.

It is a very rare example of the mark 1 rhodes (not stage) with a later preamp. Yes, unfortunately I need a poweramp plugged into a five pin din plug to power the preamp. But it does play though a separate amp - although it has to be cranked very high. It's in tune and the tone is great, cosmetically on the outside its very good....some of the harps are unfortunately a little lime-scaly/rusty - which can be repaired.

It came with all the original leg supports and the sustain pedal, these are all in good condition and fully operational.
To be honest on reflection I could have paid a little less to be a little happier, but I only say this because im a poor student - this is a fair deal.

About the man himself, he is very nice and friendly - I understand the mocking of his 'confused' listings and this is kind of reflected in his rather scatty nature.
However if you've seen big brother recently you'll understand that a impulsive character response is not necessarily a just one.
He is moving house at the moment and what a house!
He is a jumbled up hoarder, which is also reflected in his listings.....I don't think he knows much about what he sells but he gives an opinion which although is naive, is never-the-less honest. Just to give you a heads up, he really is OK.

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 20 Jan 2007, 20:00

Damn...I was hoping for some sort of eccentric spiv...on acid. Never mind, that'll teach me a lesson on preconceptions. Or possibly not...

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 21 Jan 2007, 11:24

photomoto wrote:Hiya, well the moment you've all been waiting for - whats he like to meet?

About the man himself, he is very nice and friendly - I understand the mocking of his 'confused' listings and this is kind of reflected in his rather scatty nature.

Just to give you a heads up, he really is OK.

That's actually rather a nice story!

I (wrongly) suspected he was a long-settled Eastern European considering his bizarre command of English. His continued ramblings still give great pleasure during these long wet winter evenings!

Glad you're happy with the Rhodes!

Cheers!

PG

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 09 Feb 2007, 01:34

Another one for Pianoguy:

I like the bit where he states he will provide the mouthpiece!

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 0054520180

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 09 Feb 2007, 01:38

The cover can be purchased from Textile Direct for around £15 and easily tacked round to "create" a cover worthy of the Sultan's a*rse

doesn't have the same effect...apologies,Barrie,webmaster... to sit on! Cesspit or what?

Enjoy!

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 0049046659

D Minor · Post by **D Minor** » 26 Nov 2015, 20:52

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/grand-piano-/ ... SwiLdV7d9L

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 27 Nov 2015, 18:39

?????????????

UK Piano Page Piano Forum

The Infamous Ebayer is back!

The Infamous Ebayer is back!

raymanboy

gobbledegook

He's opened his own eBay shop

Warning; not for the faint hearted

hmmmm

Re: The Infamous Ebayer is back!

Re: The Infamous Ebayer is back!